Thiruvaasagam in Oratario
A story based on my first listening to Thiruvaasagam in Oratario by iLayaraaja. This story narration dovetails back and forth in terms of emotion and time.
A Slap on my face
Saturday, 9th July 2005 7:30 pm
I dared to do the thing that until then was getting postponed for reasons that were silly. Why, How and What I dared? My friends - four of them, whose place I had visited to spend my weekend, went out for weekend shopping leaving me in their home, at my insistence.
So left all alone in the house, I was searching in their TV racks for a CD/DVD to play and listen to some music or movie until they come back. Yeah! i forgot to tell they have a very good sound system at house their house.
What was I so afraid of, reluctant, which finally was overpowered by me when I had finally got an environment (lonliness) to overpower it? Oh! yeah I didn't say you, Dr. SankarKumar of TiS foundation had sent me the CD of Thiruvasagam in Oratario by iLayaraaja with a note promising to send me the making of TiS DVD after a few days. I was bit let down for not getting the DVD in the same parcel. 'Let down' due to various reasons, one for the very reason that the DVD is not there, second, I had given my office address for shipping and was feeling awkward to ask the receptionist everytime to check whether I had received any parcel, and third Dr.SK has to spend one more time to send a parcel to me. But I didnt know that there surely was something hidden in his mind when he sent only the CD - "boy! are you going to be dejected for not getting the DVD? Are you going to scold me for what you might think as irresponsible activity of mine? Fine, you are entitled to do that, but first let me see whether you will be back to think about this after listening to the CD. I know that your friends have to bring you back and say "welcome to the world (a la morphius)" after you had listened to the CD.
Ok, let me get back to the track. I had gotten the CD on 6th July itself and was not finding time to get such an environment(loneliness coupled with good mood and "sound" system) to listen to it. 9th July 7:30 pm turned out to be that moment.
I loaded the CD, waited for some prep-talk or presentation. Bang! don't expect anything such; thats what the first musical note that started at zero-th second made me to realise. It is not something you were looking for; it is serious, it is spiritual, it is an experience, yet it is IR (ILayaraaja) music so concentrate. That was the message.
Why the hell did this man choose this song to present as the first one. He didn't realise what this would do to me; Instead of spending one hour for the entire CD I nearly spent the same time for this one song alone. It simply did not allow me to go to the next, oh forget it, it didn't even make me to think even at remotest possible location of my brain that I need to proceed to the second song.
"Poovaar senni mannan empuyanga perumaan siriyOmai" simply removed me off my body. Oh! I was seeing the Maanickkavaasagar walking all alone in a winter from the amarnath cave towards the kailash; I was seeing kaaraikkaal ammayaar toiling herself (nay her body) from kedarnath but moving towards the same kailash.
Oh! this man in his thirties unmindful of the body that was full of fatigue due to covering a great nation thrice on foot, but still was in bliss because of the satisfcation due to the accomplishment of what he wanted to acheive, that is tell us about the imortality, is also moving from kasi to kedarnath to badrinath to the same kailash. I see Jesus carrying the cross bearing all pain that men have created to him not merely due to the whiplashes they gave but more by their deeds, also walking towards that mount of Land of David to get crucified. Oh! what a splendid, spectacular view that was. All people are saying the same "pOvOm kaalam vandhadhu kaaN poi vittudayaan kazhalpugavE".
After a while I didnt know what happened to them. Did they reach kailash? Dont know I couldn't see anything as my eyes were fully of water due to mixed unexplicable emotions.
OK, somehow I came out of it, rather when I once forgot to rewind the CD forced me to do that with a short pause. That pause too was for a short while, it just re-liberated me again within no time.
"PollaavinayEn nin perunjeer pugazhumaaru onRaRiyEn....I'm just a man imperfect, lowly how can I reach for something holy". Goosepimps, Wet-cheeks are not sole weapons of kids, it is also those grown-ups yet kids too. Thanks to the loneliness, thanks to the kerchief, I could maintain my ego amongst my friends pretending as if nothing has happened (thank god they came back after 3 hours), they might have thought that I fell asleep; you see the previous day night we watched movie till 3AM. So none would have thought otherwise.
"maasaaRRa soodhi! malarndha malarchchudarE!
DEsanE! ThEnaar amudhE! sivapuranE!
paasamaam paRRu aRuththu paarikkum aariyanE!"
don't you think my body woudn't have shaked unable to bear the 'inexplicable things' happening in it?
wow! fortunate are those who haven't had to undergo this experience...nay unfortunate are those.
Thank God, then came maanikkavaasagar in the form of a 60+ year old voice as well as early twenties female voice. He laughed at me who is trembling here, unable to cope up with the divine experience, then he took me to a brief worldly ride, but not to the concrete jungle, not amongst where other ignorants like me are to be seen. He took me to that most beautiful garden of this "sivapuran" that has a medow, that kailash, the pure manasarovar with its holy swans. He showed this 'king butterfly' then after that instead of explaining about that started making it as a messenger wanted that 'king butterfly (ko thumbi)' to go and blow trumpet of their virtue to that holy foot that rules, that holy foot upon which the son climbs (without fear or reverence), to that holy foot to which this king of flower, purandharan, queen of words, gods all show their reverence.
If anything I had to face, experience, encounter, I have to; I will, even if my will is otherwise. This thought ran in my mind and I simply noded in agreement, for if I had done otherwise it would be perfectly a lie as I was having an experience at that moment. That small worldly bliss manickavaasagar took me got stopped, once again he left me to tremble further. "UmbartkarasE, ozhivaRa niRaindha yOgamE! vamben pazhuththEn kudimuzhudhaandu....semporuL thunivE, seerudaikazhalE,selvamE, sivaperumaanE". Man would any other person beg, plead to this extent only to get a gracious look from this unprune, bigamous, undertaker?" I was getting enraged, turned out to be the "angry young man of 21st century (OK not that young as one would claim at this age)". Enraged because, should anyone make his devotee to turn himself to 'lesser life than a dog'? Hadn't Sivan finally graced manickkavaasagar, I would some how have gone to his place and slapped on his face. Thank God (pun intended) maanickkavaasagar finally got what he wanted".
So..
"Namachivaaya vaazhga! naadhan thaazh vaazhga! Hail Hail! I sing hail! Hail Hail! Joyous hail! Endless hail!"
Then came a superb earthly tour to all sivakshetram. Tour courtesy again maanickavaasagar who was in the form of music, its visuals, lyrics, its soul, the voices. Wow! what a superb "mix of that golden paste" that blissful moment had created in me. Wow! what a comfort one would feel by being a mere spectator to that spectacular.
From there he told that he will take me to kailash starting from village, rustic environment wherein he exhibited that he was not afraid of the snakes dwelling in their sand-mound. Oh! he doesn't need to be afraid of anything, you see already he is liberated, already he has become a sivapuran, already he has smeared himself in every cell of kailash. So he need not have to be afraid of birth, rebirth, sin, virtue, good, bad and ugly. When I heard him saying the "amma naama anjum aarE" suddenly i heard another voice from a new person whom till now i have not noticed, was saying "aranga maa nagaruLaanE". I, did not turn towards him, but simply said to him "listen carefully our manivaasagar is saying 'amma naama anjum aarE'". But this guy was unmindful of what I was saying, he still went on saying "aranga maa nagaruLaanE". When finally I irritatingly turned towards him he was none other than me. I was confused turned towards manickkavaasagar. That time maanickavaasagar saw me, smiled at me. That smile had a lot of meaning. One meaning that I could make out was, he said without explicitly saying that rustic proverb "ariyum sivanum onnu adha aRiyaadhavan vaayila maNNu". I realised that is what he wanted to convey to me and he was perfectly alright with my alter-ego's counterpoint. I closed my eyes trying to imbibe the meaning of it then opened them and then looked towards the direction of maanickavaasagar to thank him. But, here he goes, towards his abode, the kailash, here he goes to get into his ultimate form the 'maasaRRa sOdhi'. I could see him, unbelievable.
So many forms I must wear! So many lives I must bear!
I am just a man imperfect lowly...how can I reach something holy
But thanks to manickavaasagar, thanks to His wish to give me the spectacular musical vision. Until then...
"I was in its control
I was in its control"
But He "granted a glimps of grace! oh! oh! oh!"
I'm just a man! Imperfect lowly! - yet begining to be free!
"Eesanadi poRRi endhayadi poRRi desanadi poRRi sivan sEvadi poRRi maaya piRapparukkum mannanadi poRRi".
"Avan aruLale avan thaaL vaNangi", avan aruLale avanisai kettu inbutREn paraaparamE.
A Slap on my face
Saturday, 9th July 2005 7:30 pm
I dared to do the thing that until then was getting postponed for reasons that were silly. Why, How and What I dared? My friends - four of them, whose place I had visited to spend my weekend, went out for weekend shopping leaving me in their home, at my insistence.
So left all alone in the house, I was searching in their TV racks for a CD/DVD to play and listen to some music or movie until they come back. Yeah! i forgot to tell they have a very good sound system at house their house.
What was I so afraid of, reluctant, which finally was overpowered by me when I had finally got an environment (lonliness) to overpower it? Oh! yeah I didn't say you, Dr. SankarKumar of TiS foundation had sent me the CD of Thiruvasagam in Oratario by iLayaraaja with a note promising to send me the making of TiS DVD after a few days. I was bit let down for not getting the DVD in the same parcel. 'Let down' due to various reasons, one for the very reason that the DVD is not there, second, I had given my office address for shipping and was feeling awkward to ask the receptionist everytime to check whether I had received any parcel, and third Dr.SK has to spend one more time to send a parcel to me. But I didnt know that there surely was something hidden in his mind when he sent only the CD - "boy! are you going to be dejected for not getting the DVD? Are you going to scold me for what you might think as irresponsible activity of mine? Fine, you are entitled to do that, but first let me see whether you will be back to think about this after listening to the CD. I know that your friends have to bring you back and say "welcome to the world (a la morphius)" after you had listened to the CD.
Ok, let me get back to the track. I had gotten the CD on 6th July itself and was not finding time to get such an environment(loneliness coupled with good mood and "sound" system) to listen to it. 9th July 7:30 pm turned out to be that moment.
I loaded the CD, waited for some prep-talk or presentation. Bang! don't expect anything such; thats what the first musical note that started at zero-th second made me to realise. It is not something you were looking for; it is serious, it is spiritual, it is an experience, yet it is IR (ILayaraaja) music so concentrate. That was the message.
Why the hell did this man choose this song to present as the first one. He didn't realise what this would do to me; Instead of spending one hour for the entire CD I nearly spent the same time for this one song alone. It simply did not allow me to go to the next, oh forget it, it didn't even make me to think even at remotest possible location of my brain that I need to proceed to the second song.
"Poovaar senni mannan empuyanga perumaan siriyOmai" simply removed me off my body. Oh! I was seeing the Maanickkavaasagar walking all alone in a winter from the amarnath cave towards the kailash; I was seeing kaaraikkaal ammayaar toiling herself (nay her body) from kedarnath but moving towards the same kailash.
Oh! this man in his thirties unmindful of the body that was full of fatigue due to covering a great nation thrice on foot, but still was in bliss because of the satisfcation due to the accomplishment of what he wanted to acheive, that is tell us about the imortality, is also moving from kasi to kedarnath to badrinath to the same kailash. I see Jesus carrying the cross bearing all pain that men have created to him not merely due to the whiplashes they gave but more by their deeds, also walking towards that mount of Land of David to get crucified. Oh! what a splendid, spectacular view that was. All people are saying the same "pOvOm kaalam vandhadhu kaaN poi vittudayaan kazhalpugavE".
After a while I didnt know what happened to them. Did they reach kailash? Dont know I couldn't see anything as my eyes were fully of water due to mixed unexplicable emotions.
OK, somehow I came out of it, rather when I once forgot to rewind the CD forced me to do that with a short pause. That pause too was for a short while, it just re-liberated me again within no time.
"PollaavinayEn nin perunjeer pugazhumaaru onRaRiyEn....I'm just a man imperfect, lowly how can I reach for something holy". Goosepimps, Wet-cheeks are not sole weapons of kids, it is also those grown-ups yet kids too. Thanks to the loneliness, thanks to the kerchief, I could maintain my ego amongst my friends pretending as if nothing has happened (thank god they came back after 3 hours), they might have thought that I fell asleep; you see the previous day night we watched movie till 3AM. So none would have thought otherwise.
"maasaaRRa soodhi! malarndha malarchchudarE!
DEsanE! ThEnaar amudhE! sivapuranE!
paasamaam paRRu aRuththu paarikkum aariyanE!"
don't you think my body woudn't have shaked unable to bear the 'inexplicable things' happening in it?
wow! fortunate are those who haven't had to undergo this experience...nay unfortunate are those.
Thank God, then came maanikkavaasagar in the form of a 60+ year old voice as well as early twenties female voice. He laughed at me who is trembling here, unable to cope up with the divine experience, then he took me to a brief worldly ride, but not to the concrete jungle, not amongst where other ignorants like me are to be seen. He took me to that most beautiful garden of this "sivapuran" that has a medow, that kailash, the pure manasarovar with its holy swans. He showed this 'king butterfly' then after that instead of explaining about that started making it as a messenger wanted that 'king butterfly (ko thumbi)' to go and blow trumpet of their virtue to that holy foot that rules, that holy foot upon which the son climbs (without fear or reverence), to that holy foot to which this king of flower, purandharan, queen of words, gods all show their reverence.
If anything I had to face, experience, encounter, I have to; I will, even if my will is otherwise. This thought ran in my mind and I simply noded in agreement, for if I had done otherwise it would be perfectly a lie as I was having an experience at that moment. That small worldly bliss manickavaasagar took me got stopped, once again he left me to tremble further. "UmbartkarasE, ozhivaRa niRaindha yOgamE! vamben pazhuththEn kudimuzhudhaandu....semporuL thunivE, seerudaikazhalE,selvamE, sivaperumaanE". Man would any other person beg, plead to this extent only to get a gracious look from this unprune, bigamous, undertaker?" I was getting enraged, turned out to be the "angry young man of 21st century (OK not that young as one would claim at this age)". Enraged because, should anyone make his devotee to turn himself to 'lesser life than a dog'? Hadn't Sivan finally graced manickkavaasagar, I would some how have gone to his place and slapped on his face. Thank God (pun intended) maanickkavaasagar finally got what he wanted".
So..
"Namachivaaya vaazhga! naadhan thaazh vaazhga! Hail Hail! I sing hail! Hail Hail! Joyous hail! Endless hail!"
Then came a superb earthly tour to all sivakshetram. Tour courtesy again maanickavaasagar who was in the form of music, its visuals, lyrics, its soul, the voices. Wow! what a superb "mix of that golden paste" that blissful moment had created in me. Wow! what a comfort one would feel by being a mere spectator to that spectacular.
From there he told that he will take me to kailash starting from village, rustic environment wherein he exhibited that he was not afraid of the snakes dwelling in their sand-mound. Oh! he doesn't need to be afraid of anything, you see already he is liberated, already he has become a sivapuran, already he has smeared himself in every cell of kailash. So he need not have to be afraid of birth, rebirth, sin, virtue, good, bad and ugly. When I heard him saying the "amma naama anjum aarE" suddenly i heard another voice from a new person whom till now i have not noticed, was saying "aranga maa nagaruLaanE". I, did not turn towards him, but simply said to him "listen carefully our manivaasagar is saying 'amma naama anjum aarE'". But this guy was unmindful of what I was saying, he still went on saying "aranga maa nagaruLaanE". When finally I irritatingly turned towards him he was none other than me. I was confused turned towards manickkavaasagar. That time maanickavaasagar saw me, smiled at me. That smile had a lot of meaning. One meaning that I could make out was, he said without explicitly saying that rustic proverb "ariyum sivanum onnu adha aRiyaadhavan vaayila maNNu". I realised that is what he wanted to convey to me and he was perfectly alright with my alter-ego's counterpoint. I closed my eyes trying to imbibe the meaning of it then opened them and then looked towards the direction of maanickavaasagar to thank him. But, here he goes, towards his abode, the kailash, here he goes to get into his ultimate form the 'maasaRRa sOdhi'. I could see him, unbelievable.
So many forms I must wear! So many lives I must bear!
I am just a man imperfect lowly...how can I reach something holy
But thanks to manickavaasagar, thanks to His wish to give me the spectacular musical vision. Until then...
"I was in its control
I was in its control"
But He "granted a glimps of grace! oh! oh! oh!"
I'm just a man! Imperfect lowly! - yet begining to be free!
"Eesanadi poRRi endhayadi poRRi desanadi poRRi sivan sEvadi poRRi maaya piRapparukkum mannanadi poRRi".
"Avan aruLale avan thaaL vaNangi", avan aruLale avanisai kettu inbutREn paraaparamE.
posted by Kupps at 3:06 PM
1 Comments:
Definitely this album would help people to look into thamizh classical devotional songs. At the same time, there are some not so liked aspects of this. In my opinion, IR should not have sung all the songs.
Some good reviews of this album.
http://www.thinnai.com/ar0805051.html
http://www.dhool.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3085&sid=2410d48aa149759feaf2ecc6e66eec08
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